When Quitting Isn't Giving Up

This week has been filled with some big learning and aha moments.  For the last 7 months I have been on a journey to learn how to eat, how to move my body & how to make better choices.    I have done this with the help of the fantastic ladies at my local Simply For Life.  During my time with them I have lost 20lbs making my total weight loss 40lbs.  I have learned so much from my consultant. 

Lately I've been learning more about trusting my body, learning to love her & taking care of it better.   Because of everything that I have learned through both Simply For Life and my own zest for research, books & anything data based, I have decided that it is time to close the book on the weekly weigh ins at Simply For Life.   It's time to pull up those big girl panties and practice what I have learned.

So for the first time in a long time, while I am leaving this journey at Simply For Life I don't feel as though I am giving up or that I have failed.  I feel like this leg of my journey has come to an end for now.  I know that if I need to I can return at anytime and they would welcome me with open arms.

It was a hard decision to come to, I feel like I am breaking up with my consultant.  Deep down though, I know that she will be proud of my decision and support me 100% and that if I ever need her she will be there for me.

My hopes and dreams for this fresh phase that I am embarking on are that I learn to eat in the middle, that food is not  good or bad but use it to fuel and satisfy my body.  That I trust myself to dust off my apron and cook my little heart out - that was something I gave up as I gained weight because I no longer felt I could trust myself.   (If you are looking or a new cookbook I HIGHLY suggest Andie Mitchell's - Cooking in the Middle.   I bought the kindle version but now I am dying for the hardcover hold in my hands version.)  That I move my body in ways that she appreciates and enjoys.  Most of all that I am happy, that I can enjoy life and not focus on the number on the scale so much.  Cheers to new beginnings.

It's Just Clothing - Cleaning out My Closet

I hear my husband and my best friend saying this to me over and over.....It's just a piece of clothing Alicia

Why do I hold on to this stuff. Is it really just clothing? Yes, it's just fabric, buttons and stitches.  But to me it has been so much more.  Fabric woven of memories of better times, buttons that want me to stay in the past & every stitch seems to be laced with the could've should've & would've.

It has take me a long time to realize that  I don't need to cling to the past. It isn't where I want to live anymore.  I want to live my life wide awake, eye wide open and enjoying every-freaking-moment! 


I'm trying to live my life with new rules when it comes to my clothing - If It's Not a Hell Yes ~ It's A Hell No.  I want my clothes to reflect how I see myself and how I want the world to see me.  And that means no more ill fitting, ripped, torn & stained clothing.

Out with the old and in with the new.  I have been re-building my wardrobe from the errrr foundations up.  Sexy lingerie - was my first big purchase - bottom line -  I wanted to feel sexy again for me....not for anyone else. This journey is about ME.

You might think it would be easy to just chuck out this old stuff, but I've had to work through a ton of limiting beliefs about getting rid of these clothes.  I thought I would share some of them with you cause if you are going through the same thing, I don't want you to feel alone. There were two types of clothing that I needed to clean out of my closet in order to move on with my life - Skinny Clothes & Clothes That Made Me Feel Like Shit when I wore them.   Here are my limiting beliefs and what I told myself to overcome them. 

Skinny Clothes:

• What if I get skinny again? Do you really want to be wearing fashions from 10 years ago?  Your personal style has evolved since then.  Plus who doesn't love to shop! 
• If I get rid of them, isn't that like giving up the dream of being skinny & healthy?  Just cause I throw away clothes doesn't mean that I need to stop moving or fueling my body in a way that I deserve - it's JUST clothing.  They hold no power

Clothes That Made Me Feel Like Shit:

• I don't fit right in clothes - sure some styles don't suit me but that is the same with EVERYONE
• It doesn't matter what I look like - Just because I have been married FOREVER and because I have been a stay at home mom for a long time doesn't mean that I shouldn't take the time to look good and make myself feel good.
• It fits so I better keep it - NEVER again will I wear something that doesn't stop and make me say "Damn, I loooook Goood"
• I will have no clothes left - This is one that I have really struggled with in a lot of areas in my life.  Money, food (binging) and even hanging in my closet.  BUT, Really???? Really????? Please see photos below.  1st photo shows about....oh lets say.....150ish items of clothing + the stuff that I had already sold this winter.  2nd photo well, as you can see my closet is still full....

That my lovelies, is the pile of clothing that came out of my closet.  

(no wonder I worried that I would be left with nothing)

what you can't see in this photo are two piles in the back row that are hidden by the pile of cardigans in the from (yes, I will be attending Cardigans Anonymous in the near future)

But as you can see there are still a ton of options in my closet 

  
 This was definitely not an easy task.  I have been working on it for the last month to work past all these fears.  Thank god I have a wonderful support system that talk me down off the ledge...Even if they can barely understand me through the tears and hysterics when I place my favorite pair of skinny capris in the discard pile.

When I finished and took these photos ~ I felt so amazingly free.  Unbelievable.  Then I thought to myself - why didn't I do this sooner..... 

What's holding you back?