In public you act like your the cool kid on the playground. That everyone is your friend and wants to be just like you. You think that you know all the answers and you have that "my way or the highway" mentality.
Your "friends" cower in fear of the day that you will turn on them. Every comment out of your perfectly painted lips is a negative one.
You don't have a flaw on your perfectly proportioned body. No scars of any kind. No stretch marks on your finely toned body. But yet you inflict them daily on those around you. Not physical scars but emotional ones that cut deeper with every word you say.
You snicker lazy behind that fat girls back as she struggles to get through the day. Not realizing how far she has come, you only seeing how far she has to go.
The kid who has scars is taunted. Not realizing that each of those scars make her only more beautiful
The underweight girl - you laughingly say she is anorexic. She got there because media is so warped that she strives to want people just like you to like her.
Some will get stronger with time after they have been hurt by you. Some never will and will shrink within themselves until they are a shell of who they once were. No longer living life, afraid to put themselves out there for fear of rejection.
Why do you do it? What is so wrong in your life that you feel the need to destroy everyone else? Every word that you say to someone else is really just a reflection of what your own internal thoughts are. What it really boils down to - You hate yourself.
You need to give yourself a break. Look a little closer at you - you're not perfect. Your perfectly painted lips are a little too big, you have stretch marks from beautiful babies that you carried within yourself. You call her lazy because you feel you are. You act like you want every to be under your spell ~ But what you really dream of, that brings the tears at night is that you just wish someone would like you for well, you.
We need to stop beating ourselves and others up. We need to be more accepting and not tell people how they "should look, should act and what they should say". Your fine just the way you are. Make choices that are good for you. Eat healthy and exercise - not out of punishment but because you enjoy it. You enjoy the way you feel when you've killed that workout. Don't let others opinions affect you ~ so what if they hate your body, your lifestyle, your blog and your attitude. It's how you feel about yourself that counts. I wanted to write this after a lot of my soul searching these past couple of months but I didn't know where to start. Until I looked at this horrendous website that tears down other peoples blogs. It made me want to vomit realizing just how mean people really are and what it boils down to is they don't like themselves. I, for one and done with the negativity. For myself, for others. All its doing is holding me back from my dreams.....Goodbye bully.
