How I Kept From Eating Away My Loneliness

I HATE spending the night alone.  Deep down despise it.  I'm ok if the hubby is working nights but when he is away for a guys nights I enter panic mode.  Usually those nights end up with me binge eating on everything in sight and ending up with a very sick, bloated belly.   Tonight I am trying to break that habit.    Instead of turning to piles of food, I am spending my evening being a boring obsessive compulsive planner instead.  (Insert eye roll)  

It may not be the most exciting thing that I have done, but it is keeping me from devouring the entire contents of my refrigerator.

 

I have found some great templates on pinterest to plan with.  Everything from workout planning to meal planning to household planning.  It is fantastic.  I think I might have given my poor printer a heart attack with all the sheets I've printed off this evening. 

So far I have worked out my exercise goals for the week:

Sunday - TRX
Monday - workout at home
Tuesday - Yoga
Wednesday - That Step class is going to finally be my bitch!
Thursday - Yoga
Friday - Core Strength Class
Saturday - Either a workout at home or one of the morning classes at the gym.

Well that is a very full and very scary set of exercise goals for next.   If I make it to all of those classes I am going to reward myself with a new book and a hot bubble bath and some me time :)

I have super pick people in my house.  If one likes it, the next doesn't - now me I love just about anything! 

I find making meals that everyone likes in my housevery hard.    We tend to make the same meals over and over.  I tend to get board of that. I LOVE making new recipes.  Whether they turn out or taste horrible I love trying new things :) 

Here is what I have for this weeks meal plan

Tuesday - we are escaping to the camp :) so, fiddleheads, roasted potatoes & steak sound yummy
Wednesday - going out for dinner for New Years Eve
Thursday - Rosemary glazed pork & roasted vegetables with basmati rice
Friday - Roast chicken,  sweet potatoes & squash
Saturday - Pizza
Sunday - Homemade Chicken noodle soup & beer bread

Next week the hubby is on nights so it is just the kids and I kicking around for supper.  This is when I tend to get lazy and not eat anything myself (which leads to a binge at some point) and just make super quick stuff for the kids.  I plan on making ahead a few meals on Sunday so I don't have to do much during the week :) Just re-heat & go!

Adventures in Mommyhood

Everyone remember that 80's movie Adventures in babysitting? I love that movie.  When you think life is going to be dull - it turns out to be anything but.  Well I guess that happens when you have a husband & kids.....And two dogs & a cat.  At least I convinced my husband that the baby raccoon did not make a suitable pet.  It feels like everyday I have some crazy story about one of the kids or the pets.....Usually one child in particular and one dog in particular.  Perhaps I should have called this blog the days of Jacob & Judd.  Thankfully both are very cute and cuddly and make up for the fact that they ate my makeup or hid priceless jewelry in my furniture or ate my favorite pair of shoes or decide to get up for the day at 4:30am.   (Hope you can figure out which ones were by child and which ones were by canine) But I digress what I want to talk about is going back to work.  

Transitioning from being a stay at home mom to back to working part time has been an adventure in balance.  Do I come home and clean and not play with my kids or do I play with my kids and ignore the housework?  I am thankful that I only work part time and use my days off for catching up.   My house is messier more than it is not.  Little ones are only so small for such a short time.  I would much rather and snuggle and read a book to them than to do whatever chore that is lacking.  I will admit that even when I was a stay at home mom I tended to let cleaning go by the side so that I could spend more time with the kids

A clean "perfect" house used to cause me so much anxiety and panic attacks if someone were to come over.  I would go into a frenzy of cleaning when they told me they were coming and well, let me tell you, if they showed up unannounced my chest would stay tight for the entire visit.  I can hear myself saying these words over and over - "so sorry for the mess".   I was embarrassed that I wasn't perfect.  I thought that it had to be a certain way. 

It wasn't until recently that I have been able to relax over this to tell the perfectionist in me that it is OK to not be supermom, to not have it all done.  That it's normal to ask for help.  I use a daily goal list to help me check off what  I want to get done.  Let me tell you there is something very empowering to see that check mark.  If for some reason I don't finish checking off that list - well that's OK too!

If you come to visit at any given time - be prepared to look past the laundry pile that isn't folded and the dishes that aren't done.   I can promise you a love and friendship filled visit but I won't promise you a spotless house.

  Yeah - These Guys - They make my world go round!

Hitting Rock Bottom

One of these days I won't have to say "I'm starting over" - At least that's what I keep telling myself.  I've been a fatty as many years as I have been skinny now.  I've yo-yo'd all over the place and when it comes back on it only goes higher.

I always say "This time is going to be different"

Then when I fail I whine "I don't understand why I can't lose weight"

Well lets see could it be the two McDonald's meals that I eat in secret in the back part of the parking lot?  Could it be the entire pie that I ate?  I delusionally tell myself that no - it can't be any of those things.  That I did everything that I could.  WRONG That's a Big fat can of lies.  Deep down I know it. 

I am so tired of feeling like a busted can of biscuits. I want to wear pants that don't have 80% spandex in the list of materials.  I want my husband to WANT to go all 50 Shades on me not just phone it in.

I hit rock bottom this week when I realized I weighed more than my mom.  I Don't feel like I am as heavy as the number on the scale says I am. But like I said earlier - I have delusional tendancies.

So here I am back on the bandwagon again for the bazillionth time ~ This time I am staying right here! And not getting my ass down till I fit in some skinny clothes.  So if you feel like tagging along on my journey and my life in general - hit the subscribe button and lets see where this takes us!