Life's a Package Deal

I sit here blogging when I should be cleaning but I wanted to share my thoughts.  I've come to realize that life's a package deal.  When I let my house & finances get in a mess that's when my weight goes up. When I control those areas of my life that's when I can bring my weight down and I feel good about myself...I have those skinny day's where I feel good, & I mean really good about myself. Do I think its all tied together - you betcha.  So, you would think that I would keep it together at all times then I wouldn't get any fatter and I would have a clean house and the bills would be paid....Well life isn't that easy.

But I will be damned if I am not trying my hardest. 

Today I am going to attack that mountain of laundry & then I am going to torture my body with that device called the bowflex down in my dungeon.

One day at a time I will tackle my life and regain control.

Hitting Rock Bottom

One of these days I won't have to say "I'm starting over" - At least that's what I keep telling myself.  I've been a fatty as many years as I have been skinny now.  I've yo-yo'd all over the place and when it comes back on it only goes higher.

I always say "This time is going to be different"

Then when I fail I whine "I don't understand why I can't lose weight"

Well lets see could it be the two McDonald's meals that I eat in secret in the back part of the parking lot?  Could it be the entire pie that I ate?  I delusionally tell myself that no - it can't be any of those things.  That I did everything that I could.  WRONG That's a Big fat can of lies.  Deep down I know it. 

I am so tired of feeling like a busted can of biscuits. I want to wear pants that don't have 80% spandex in the list of materials.  I want my husband to WANT to go all 50 Shades on me not just phone it in.

I hit rock bottom this week when I realized I weighed more than my mom.  I Don't feel like I am as heavy as the number on the scale says I am. But like I said earlier - I have delusional tendancies.

So here I am back on the bandwagon again for the bazillionth time ~ This time I am staying right here! And not getting my ass down till I fit in some skinny clothes.  So if you feel like tagging along on my journey and my life in general - hit the subscribe button and lets see where this takes us!